
ALL YOUR HUMANIST
CEREMONY QUESTIONS ANSWERED ...
WORKING WITH ME
“Where are you based?”
“What do you charge for a wedding ceremony and what is included?”
I charge £600 and this includes all discussions, preparations and delivery, I do not set limits to meetings or calls – whatever is needed to get to the best end result! My fee also includes a rehearsal if you would like one and all reasonable travel costs (roughly within 2 hours of Hertfordshire), we can chat through any additions if you intend to get married farther afield.
HUMANISM... SAY WHAT?
“What is a humanist ceremony?”
“What is humanism and do you talk about it a lot in the ceremony?”
“We’re not actually humanists – or at least we don’t think we are. Can we still have a humanist wedding ceremony?”
Of course! Humanism is about inclusivity. Besides, if you are non-religious and look to science, reason, empathy, and compassion in order to live an ethical and meaningful life, then you’re amongst those with a humanist outlook without even realising it!
“My grandmother / aunt / dad etc. is religious and I don’t want them to be offended. Will a humanist wedding be okay?”
Nearly every ceremony is attended by guests of different faiths and of none, and we feel passionately that everyone present should feel comfortable and involved. I always say at the beginning of each ceremony “they have chosen to celebrate their commitment to one another through a humanist wedding ceremony which is not anchored in religion but instead allows for them to reflect their own personalities, their beliefs and their aspirations for a marriage together, I do hope that whatever your background you will find this an enjoyable and significant occasion.”
“What happens at a wedding ceremony?”
Each ceremony is written specifically for the couple; there is no set format. But as a guide, a typical wedding might include readings or poems, information about the couple and why they are choosing to marry and perhaps some music. The couple will make vows or commitments to each other and often exchange rings.
“How long does a humanist wedding last?”
It depends on what you want to include, but as a guide around 30-45 minutes.
“All sounds great but I have a wedding to plan…..does having a humanist ceremony involve a lot of work?”
I’m not going to lie to you….because humanist weddings are so personal they do take a little more time to plan than a church or registry wedding. I need to get to know you and hear all about your adventures so far in order to create something totally unique and authentic to you, but it’s well worth the effort. In terms of what exactly is involved – usually a couple of meetings with me and some time going through some questions by yourselves - most couples crack open the vino and have a blast reminiscing so it really isn’t work at all! Promise!
THE LEGAL BIT
“Will we be legally married after a humanist wedding?”
“When do couples get married legally if they are having a humanist wedding?”
“Do we have to be get legally married if we want a humanist wedding?”
No. There are various reasons why people might want the public statement of commitment and celebration without legally registering their partnership as a marriage and humanist celebrations allow for this.
“If we have to get married legally at a different time and place, will a humanist ceremony actually feel like a wedding?”
YES I PROMISE! A lot of people are understandably concerned about this but every couple that I have married have all felt that their humanist ceremony was the real deal as what mattered most to them is being surrounded by those they love as they make public commitments to each other.
“Will guests feel like they are at our ‘real’ wedding if it isn’t legally binding?”
Absolutely. Indeed, guests often comment afterwards that the occasion was much more moving and meaningful than other weddings they’ve been to, because it was so personal.
“Do we have to tell people that the wedding isn’t legal?”
It is up to you. I can talk to you about how you want to manage this. Nothing needs to be said publicly, however, it’s perfectly possible to explain the legal situation in a positive way.
WORKING WITH ME
“Where are you based?”
“What do you charge for a wedding ceremony and what is included?”
I charge £600 and this includes all discussions, preparations and delivery, I do not set limits to meetings or calls – whatever is needed to get to the best end result! My fee also includes a rehearsal if you would like one and all reasonable travel costs (roughly within 2 hours of Hertfordshire), we can chat through any additions if you intend to get married farther afield.
WHAT NEXT?
“We are interested in finding out more… what now?”
